


The S word incident (that everyone wants to forget)

by sallyatoyota



Category: One Piece
Genre: But it is like really light I swear, Comedy, Dirty Talk, Fluff and Crack, Humor, LawLu - Freeform, Luffy Being Luffy, M/M, The kawaii teen has grown up and no one likes it, everyone suffers, it's early in the morning whose idea was this, no beta we die like man
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-12
Updated: 2020-03-12
Packaged: 2021-03-01 02:41:41
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,009
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23117914
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sallyatoyota/pseuds/sallyatoyota
Summary: You see, it’s not like they expect Luffy to not ever love anyone, but when their big eyes innocent captain with no sexual desire suddenly asks about how to seduce someone - that’s a whole new level of “things that shouldn’t go together”.
Relationships: Minor Akagami no Shanks | Red-Haired Shanks/Makino - Relationship, Monkey D. Luffy & Mugiwara Kaizoku | Strawhat Pirates, Monkey D. Luffy/Trafalgar D. Water Law
Comments: 23
Kudos: 527





	The S word incident (that everyone wants to forget)

**Author's Note:**

> A quick oneshot that I just want to write about. It's my first Lawlu fic as well.  
> Not a surprise that it turns out to be a crackfic.

“Hey guys, how can I become sexy?”

All the Straw Hats simultaneously whip their heads toward the speaker - their infamous captain. Usopp drops his potato chip in the most comical manner possible while even the calm and collective Robin shakes her hand a little holding the tea cup.

“I’m sorry, what did you just say?” The cigarette hanging loose from Sanji’s mouse as he tries to stable the plate of delicious steak currently giving to Nami.

“I said,” Luffy sits upright on his chair, hand on his chin “How can I become sexy-“

“Wait stop stop stop!!” Snapped out of the shock, Usopp put both his hands up, eyebrows ready to go through the roof “You, of all people, are not allowed to say that s word!”

“Whaaaaaat? Why not?!” The young captain frowns at his shooter. 

“Why? Because you are innocent, and pure, and, and, and-“ Usopp splutters, gripping a confused Chopper.

“Luffy, what happened? Why do you even bring up this question in the first place?!” Nami slams both her hands on the table. Luffy tilts his head to the side, confused:

“Guys it’s not that big of a deal, why are you acting so weird? Isn’t sexy a common thing?” The navigator grimaces:

“Well, kinda but like-“

“I want to become sexy because it can help me woo the person I like.” The Straw Hat captain casually says like he doesn’t just drop a bomb on everyone. The silence that comes after it is so thick that even Zoro groggily opens his good eye to see what is going on.

“Y-Y-You like someone??” The poor shooter sounds like choking on his own spit, which results in the little ship doctor screaming for help. Robin, who just finishes asserting the whole situation and currently patting the poor reindeer, turns to look at Luffy:

“You’re positive you like this person?”

“Yeah!” He grins, a huge smile on his face “I really, really, reallyyyyy like him!”

“Are you certain it is like-like? Not friend-like or family-like?” Putting down the plate, the curly brows cook leans back on his chair.

“Uh huh! He is really cool and cute at the same time, I just wanna make kissy face at him~” 

‘Yeah’ The whole crew nods ‘This is very serious… ‘ then shudders when seeing a blush spreads on Luffy’s face ‘…and very creepy’

You see, it’s not like they expect Luffy to not ever love anyone, but when their big eyes, innocent captain with no sexual desire suddenly asks about how to seduce someone - that’s a whole new level of “things that shouldn’t go together”. For One Piece’s sake they are like a family so it feels like listening to a brother saying he is having a boner or something.

And just like that, that mental image of Luffy makes the atmosphere turns even more awkward than it already is.

Oblivious to his friends’ turmoil, the captain just rocks back and forth on his chair: “I tried different things before you know, like giving him compliments, hanging onto his arms, hugging him, hell even offering him my meat!”

‘The last part sounds very wrong in this context’ Everyone groans again.

“Awwwww” Franky puts down his bottle of cola “It’s SUPERRR cute that you share your meat with someone, it never happens before! Even with us!”

“I know right?! He should have known that too!” Just like that, Luffy crosses his arms and puffs his cheeks in anger “Yet he doesn’t show any affection back, not even a thank you! He is supposed to be smarter than me!”

“Wait…” From the corner of the dining room, the first mate taps his chin “Was that why you were sulking on Sunny’s head 2 weeks ago?”

“I wasn’t sulking!!“ Luffy promptly looks away. Their captain’s inability to lie doesn’t surprise them anymore. Ignoring all the stares, he continues:

“Anyway, a week ago when we went into town, I rescued a woman from a thug-“

“Of course you did.” The navigator butts in.

“-And as a thank you, she said she would give me anything I want - that she has of course. So I asked her about how to woo a man, and she said that I need to become sexy ‘cus my boyish charm is not enough to seduce someone onto bed-“

“NOPE! Not hearing this! This conversation from you never happens! I’m out!” Usopp screeches like a banshee and squeezes his eyes shut.

“-So I asked her ‘okay then how do I become sexy?’ and she chuckled, saying I 'need to strip all my clothes down and lie on his bed, with the most hungry eyes possible’-“

Even Sanji’s posture screams uncomfortable now. Meanwhile, Zoro looks like he is about to slam his head till he goes unconscious again. 

“-And then use this finger gesture-“ Luffy starts to mimic what he saw, a concentrated look on his face “to beckon him, and say ‘hey honey, come over here and we can make sweet music together~’.”

Usopp foams at the mouth and Chopper panics again. Nami and Robin decides whatever it is in their tea it is making them see and hear things beyond this world. Only Franky laughs, clutches his stomach and rolls on the floor.

“That is interesting, Luffy-san” Brook, who was silent from the beginning of… whatever this is, chuckles “I mean, music is definitely up in my alley-“

“THAT’S NOT THE POINT” The orange haired woman smacks their composer “Luffy that advice was terrible, you really should not do that, like at all-“

“Yeah! I know! That’s why I have to ask you guys now!” The straw hat captain says.

“Okay thank god at least you know- Wait,” Nami suddenly squints her eyes “How did you know it was not a good idea?”

“Easy,” He blinks at Nami as if she is asking a stupid question “I tried it!”

“You- TRIED WHAAAAT?”

Luffy covers both his ears to protect them from a close-to-a-heart-attack Nami. “I mean I was so excited, I need to know if it works!”

Sanji pulls out his third cigarette of today – it is only 9AM damn it – and sighs “So what was the result?”

“Terrible! It was so bad! He didn't react anything and he even dropped me into the sea!” 

“Figures.” The cook remembers that he had to pull out a very frustrated and nearly drown captain from the ocean. It was not a fun memory.

“So like I said before, I did exactly what she told me! It was weird though why should I invite him to eat and sing on the bed, like it is supposed to be in the living room or dining room, but I did it anyway. He stood there not saying anything for minutes, and I got so cold I had to stand up and shook him. Then he just screamed very loud in my ears and threw me out with his power! Stupid!” 

“It’s a shame that he didn’t touch your skin, can’t relate ‘cus I’m all bones now yohohoho~” Brook crackles while Usopp finally resigns to his fate of hearing *this* at the morning now.

“Okay then Luffy, what else did you try?”

“So, like, the island after the one we went to, I met Smokey in a restaurant. Man he was pissed! I didn’t do anything weird that time and he still chased after me!”

‘That’s kind of the point of being a pirate Luffy – getting hunted by marines’ The crew thinks but no one says anything. Their thick head captain is not going to listen to them while talking so animatedly anyway.

“So, I mean might as well ask about him right? He looks like someone who would know about being sexy and what not?” ‘NO’ Everyone cringed on their spots “And I ask him ‘hey Smokey, what should I do to become sexy?’ But he just paused there, turned away, yelled into the Den Den Mushi questions like 'Is this the real Straw Hat? Are you sure this is not another case of fakers on Sabaody? Are you sure there’s nothing strange in my beer or cigars??’

A moment of silence from the Straw Hat, praying for Smoker’s sanity.

“So I escaped, yada yada. And, that’s basically it.” He finally stops his story. “So guys, how do I become sexy?”

They all look at each other, wonder what they should do in this situation. Finally, trying to clear her throat, Robin speaks up:

“I think, it doesn’t really matter if you’re-“ She paused a bit “-sexy, or not. The thing is that person should like you for who you really are. The foundation of any relationship is compassion, romantic or not. From what I heard, you really trust this person and admire him a lot. If you want to go further, there is a certain degree of attraction that both of you have to feel.”

“Like what?” Luffy questions.

“Like what you said earlier, you want to kiss him don’t you? The kind of kiss that is different from a peck on the cheek like you give me” She softly smiles and get returns with a grin:

“Yeah! I want to kiss him, like Shanks and Makino with each other!” He excitedly claims like he just discovers Raftel.

“See? If he feels anything for you, then he should think about it as well. It does not have anything to do with being- ahem, sexy; it is just that you guys want to be with each other”

“I don’t know, he doesn’t look like he wants to kiss me at all, he just held my hands, touched my shoulders, bandaged me in Dressrosa-“

A silence falls between them.

“Uhhhhh… I’m sorry? Dressrosa?”

“Yeah! You guys were there too!” He looks at Robin, Zoro and Usopp.

“Wait, don’t tell me-“

“Torao is simply the best! Chopper is really good but I love having Torao as my doctor really much too! He even saved my life that time...” Luffy dreamily touches this hand on his chest’s scar.

_Why didn’t they notice sooner?_

There’s no way Luffy could be talking about anyone else with this same level of affection towards someone rather than Law.

There’s no way the incident of Luffy shoving his meat into a very angry and blushing Law slipped out of their mind.

There’s no way anyone else rather than Law who threw their captain off his ship from weeks ago.

And most importantly:

_There’s no way Law never feels the same way towards Luffy._

When the clouds of uncertainty (and other words coming from Luffy’s mouth which should never exist there-) clears, the crew relaxes instantly and they all grin at their captain. He squirms under their knowing eyes:

“What? So what should I do?”

“I think…” Putting her hand on their beloved captain’s shoulder, Robin smiles:

“Good things always come to those who wait.”

\----

Somewhere, out on the Grandline…

“Achoo!!” The surgeon sneezes loudly. Bepo quickly rushes to his side:

“Captain! Are you okay? Do you need me to fetch you medicine or food or blanket or-“

“I’m fine.” Law grumbles “Just having this weird feeling of uneasiness.”

“Captain, you haven’t slept well lately so I’m really worried…” The bear sadly plays with his hands, which earns him a soft sigh and a pat from his captain.

“Really, it’s just… something has been on my mind lately.”

“Eh? What is it captain?”

“It’s…uh...” A memory appears on Law’s mind. 

_Luffy, naked on his bed, then walked towards him without shy. Just a little more and he can touch that soft skin and feel the strong veins underneath, hear that soft voice calling to him-_

“NOTHING! Absolutelynothingpervertedatall” Suddenly feeling too hot, Law stands up abruptly from his seat and storms out of his room. Bepo just stands there for a few minutes, confused. His captain is certainly weird today.

‘Oh well’ He thinks ‘I should ask Nami which course they are currently in, hopefully we can meet again in the next month. Captain always seems to look happier when meeting the Straw Hat!’

**Author's Note:**

> Law is a tsundere.


End file.
